2012 AAAAND IT'S GONE

2012 has been a life-changing year for me.
Graduated. Now working.
I consider myself a very lucky fresh-grad as my first job just came without any obstacles.
Work is fine, boss is fine, colleague is fine.
Everything seems to be better than what I expected.
How about my love life?
This might be the first time I blogged about this. So here goes.

Through out these 12 months of 2012, I need to thanks these 5 individuals.
Each for them taught me a lesson, and those ups and downs made me who I am now.

The first person, thanks to you, without you confronting me, I will still be living behind those doors.
You gave me the courage to do what I always wanted to do, and that leads to the second person.

The second person, thanks to you, without you being by my side (figuratively) all the time, I wouldn't had made it this far. I had yet to meet someone in my life that shares so many similarities, like you always say to me, we were like twins separated at birth. You led me through doubts and worries, I really appreciated it; I really really do and guess I would never find another individual like you. Thanks to this second person, I get to know how the third person was.

The third person, thanks to you, without you giving so much care and concern, I would had forgotten how great it feels to be valued. But it wasn't long until we both found out that we weren't meant for each other, totally different lifestyle and habits crushed it, literally. I took me quite some time to get over you, even my heart ache everytime I met you, but looking back now, I think I made the right decision.

The fourth person, thanks to you, without you giving so much hope to me, I wouldn't fell so hard. For a split second, I thought I have hope, and I thought finally I succeeded, but no, its a scam and that's about it.

The fifth person, thanks to you, without you, I would still be the same old me. You changed me the most, because I invested the most. It was supposed to be the highlight of my 2012, but apparently,  it was a disaster. Its not a full on disaster, but its an event that makes me reconsider and make some adjustment about myself. You treated me so well that I was so convinced we were going to make it far, the love that I received was so overwhelming and unrealistic, but it wasn't long until you tell me what's actually going on. Bitch-slapped. But still, I am really grateful that I got to met you, even till now I still say that to you every now and then.

Other than these 5 individuals, they are new faces that came into my life, some stayed and some just sashay away. too much rupaul. Every one of them are like ornaments, embellishing my 2012 and whether its good or bad, its better than me just living my life the same plain and boring way.

2013, I hope you treat me well.


A song for the fifth

Deer in Headlight

Recently I am under some sort of depression
but hey, when wasn't I?

There nothing I can do causing me to feel so helpless and defeated

I don't want to be seen as a weak and pessimistic person

because I am not

but now I felt rather vulnerable

I always knew the vast majority is gonna judge you by how you look

My appearance wasn't very appealing to most of the people and I am perfectly aware on that

so I try to make up with a better personality

but apparently I wasn't that kind of guy that runs around spilling rainbows, making everybody entertained

and I am even further away from that kind of laid back and cool personality that is always captivating

hence, causing me to feel confuse because I am stuck in the middle of no where

I am already handicap in socialising and now I don't even have a charming personality to back things up

I am basically doomed from the get go
Like seriously, I should have a sticker on my forehead "DOOMED"

Yes, everybody has their individuality; we don't need to become someone else to stand out

we don't to alter ourselves to fit people's expectation, but don't you want to be someone that is likeable and remember-able? 

you would probably just say:" Be yourself"

and that would lead to another question "Who am I?"

Be myself. Being shy, timid is getting me nothing good

I am trying to break out of this bubble, but it seems to be really difficult to do so

You would probably say:"Give it a few more tries"

How many chances can be given? I need to be able to come out of my comfort zone and I need to do it fast

but I don't have a plan, I am a deer in the headlight

I need to figure things out quickly or I will fail like a car crash.
with a major "BAM"

well at least there's an impact made

A little meditation will do

How would it feel to isolate myself from all social networks.

I guess I'll know the answer after 24 hours.

I should write a song about me

I let myself down

I can be better and should be better

but I just screw things up when my nerves kick in or thats just me being me

I am not a social butterfly but damn I felt like a freaking social cocoon

so noob, so shy, so passive, so metapod

I am well aware that I am not that kind of ideal guy people are looking for

I have so much flaw in me that I cant fix or should I say I dont even have the urge to fix it

I am who I am, like me for me

ok last two statements are just excuses for me to act like an idiot

yea what had happened happened, now I can just sit here and type out this bloody blog post to make myself feel better or at least having a record here for me to laugh at myself in the future

Owh.. I am like an emo boy blogging about some emo little stuffs

and noticed how many times I used the word I, me, myself XD

I am such a narcissistic self-centered bitch

but behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, which is vulnerable to the slightest criticism

so be good to me

Gone, but not forgotten

My last blog post was like 6 months ago during my internship

hello~

I have nothing specific in mind so this is basically a random update or just plain crap

I am now having my holiday after my FYP submission which is hectic and chaotic

hopefully the result turn out great or else somebody is gonna get hurt

Mr.Fauzan ~ahem~

I worked my ass off to accomplish things in 10 days

10 days to do a website and 3d environmental design isn't enough sir

and especially during CNY come on

but I will just forgive you sir since I did it at the very last minute

Tomorrow I will be heading back to cyber again to renew my passport and of course

The legen -wait for it- dary post submission mid term break get away is back again babe!

holy shit another round of money spending because Johor Premium Outlet here I comeeeee

See ya

Day 11

A hungry afternoon

got some biscuit and milo from the pantry

and decided to have my tea time here

but the cctv just drove me crazy

makan also makan till not natural

hello boss, need so many cctv in pantry meh?

Skipped Day 10

懒到爆

Day 9

A smiley

but I am extremely emo these few days.

There are nobody here for me to talk to

I am not going home last week

I am exhausted every single day

I am going to blog every single day during my inernship period!

HOLY SHIT!

3.14

Started my internship and its boring as hell

There are nobody for me to joke with, no active chatters, no humorous personnel

and the office is dead most of the time

I cant just keep my mouth close most of the time la

will busuk one you know?

I thought maybe coz I am still new to them and they may need some time before they are more willing to speak to me but apparently they don't chat among themselves too

Awesome

Besides, I was there for just 3 days

read clearly, 3 days and each day there were different colleague who come to me (in private)

and tell me to watch out for blah blah blah coz they are blah blah blah

wah so fast mau back stab meh?

Terror betul

3 more months. 14 weeks.

Its so quite over here

What's the time now?

Accidentally hop to my own blog while lepak-lepak at others blog

irresponsible blogger

So, hows my life?

What had I been through since my last update?

Its bitter sweet

Submitted my assignment after few pretty stressful week

while still waiting for replies from companies (internship)

This sem has officially crowned as the worst sem ever by the majority as there are too many things to do and too little time given

hello? I am not an auto generate 3D modelling software you hear me?

I just hope when the result comes out

I won't throw somebody out from my hostel

and hopefully my internship will go smoothly

And here is the infamous exhibition booth

defeated

what's wrong with you?

such a sore loser

nobody wants you and thats the case

period

and you suck

damn short update

1 of my ASOS parcels had arrived and all i have to say is online shopping is freaking AWESOME

I personally do not like dodol

This is what I have been doing for the whole freakin' sem

No, this is not all

I still have logo, paperbag, voucher, 3d product, packaging, website in my list

and I survived

Doing a flash website myself

modelling the product and packaging myself

animating it myself

now you know so incapable of me when it comes to 3d modelling and flash website

shame on me LOL

that pretty much sums up my gamma sem 2

oh I forgot my first attempt in recording a radio drama

that was quite an experience but the process is *ahem* fascinating

and chemat is a jerk

lecturers' office is not for student to do their things and also not for you to sleep

kiss my ass and go home for your power nap and come back for you 2pm class

so long,

I am going to enjoy my CNY like never before

2011st

So here I am again after MIA for quite some times.

Will be having Sound design draft presentation by this afternoon

Already had my MI crit session

E-commerce presentation will be on Thursday

BHM mid term exam by this Friday

HUAT AH!

Need to refine my 3d modelling,

Add content to my website,

Study for BHM,

Try to help in creating website for E-commerce which I doubt but must try

yada yada!

Its 2011 already and I am talking assignment crap here

no life no life

But it wasn't that bad since my review during crit session is pretty positive +1

I think i should start preparing since my presentation for sound design is like 2 hours later

HA!

Love song

I’m not confident of living A life without love I don’t want to imagine A life without dreams I can’t picture A life without music Life is boring if you don’t have anything That you can’t compromise on It would be meaningless Wouldn’t it? Do you have anything you want to protect? Are you afraid you can’t protect it to the end? You’re damaged and tattered But that’s why you know strength Do you have someone dear to you? Can you cherish that person? Hold that person gently but tightly Before you lose him or her It seems things can go wrong easily Even so, life is boring if you don’t have anything That you can’t compromise on It would be meaningless I don’t believe everything will always go right Even so, life is boring if you don’t have anything That you can’t compromise on It would be meaningless There are definitely days Where I honestly just feel like Giving up Because that’s easier Have you lost anything? Is it something you left behind somewhere? Do you regret doing so? Do you wish you could go back and reclaim it? Do you have a wish? Is that wish within reach? Can you become honest? Why won’t the tears stop? I’m not confident of living A life without love I don’t want to imagine A life without dreams I can’t picture A life without music Life is boring if you don’t have anything That you can’t compromise on It would be meaningless Wouldn’t it?

A song that will set you off thinking about your own life

That's the reason why i like her

there is always something in her lyric that is so genuine and inspiring

third person

Its sunday! weeeeee

since it is sunday, lets discuss something about zhihan

Zhihan is a bitch

Zhihan is arrogant

Zhihan is full of himself

Zhihan hurts people's feeling

Zhihan is self-centered

Zhihan is picky

Zhihan is a drama queen

Zhihan is a hater

Zhihan hates trouble-maker

Zhihan hates paranoid

Zhihan hates attention gainer

Zhihan hates 2 face

Zhihan hates who he hates

Zhihan hates you

Zhihan is so full of himself that he doesn't cares how you feel

is that what it is?

You wanna be on top?

Have i talked about my result yet?

Yes i did

But this time around, I will be talking about it in another mood

I AM IN THE DEAN LIST

HAHA

the best student is not even in it

he is out of the list and i can care less about him *evil laugh*

now i should be more than satisfied with the result

but still

I have the lowest CGPA among all

embarrassing XD

anywhere I should be proud of myself and not be too greedy

and get a big head like someone did

Being an underdog wasn't that bad after all.

Chong Zhihan likes your status.

I know its a bit late to post this up

but i had received my parcel!

YEAH!

I have to admit that i am absolutely in love most of the things

And they have already been named now by jealous bitches XD

I have a power ranger and a sofa = how cool

online shopping is so exciting!

I wanna upload so photos when i get them! YEAH!

I am talking to myself here

how pathetic but i like

"Like"

love you, you love

I found somebody's secret blog
literally secret because its url has the word "secret"
after reading most of the posts
to be quite honest,
I am speechless


Love is something that hits you way off guard
and it may traumatize you for some time

you bite more than you can chew

Not like what i expected
I will not get any sponsorship
and i was asked not to discuss it again
ya, it is what it is
so, from now on I may have to work harder or save harder
I dun want to be a loser to beg for it
so i shall not mention it again
and just go with the flow
I know that is not what i need
it is what I want
but i will still try hard to own it someday
it is not like the first time i was being let downed
and I clearly realize that we always suffer financially
I dont want to make it sounds like i am complaining
but why does he get what he wants but i dont?
and its 710 not 500


Lets see what life has to offer <3

三千哈哈